The reality if a single parent is " I'm going to do this alone for a while" okay, maybe it will be just me. But I had to get a glass of wine. I feel like it's the only thing that can break the ice I am feeling. I know not good at all. One glass is fine a day. Red I must say is good for the heart, doctors say.
Tonight is one of those nights. almost midnight the next day. Still feel like I am in 2020 still. Life will not be the same as I new it. It has tared me down in away that I wonder about what is next?
Let's start of with dating. I have address this in another blog of mines. Living with my parents again, trying to balance this new life and not get sick seems like dating is a terrifying thing in person. You can get so close. You can wonder about touching to how much can you hang out. Simple for people who has there own place or just not living with there parents.
Of course, we have the not normal moment. Rushing into love is not a real reason to find love during this crazy time. It feel like I will die alone. You might die alone but still do you risk it all for love?
Great question, do you?
This new life I have to do now is exhausting. I"m learning everyday to balance life. Trust me it is not easy. Glass of wine is always needed even when you feel like you will be okay with out one. Go with days, weeks and then months to where you feel like "I need a glass of wine" Even when a glass of wine is not strong enough for the hard shit that comes your way, you just look at it and say "Maybe next time and never open the bottle.
With trying to work out, find a boyfriend...wait maybe I shouldn't say that. I feel like it's more of just want to find someone that is the opposite sex to talk to and actually keep my attention. Talking to kids all day to my parents, need a break at times.
Then you have lovely homeschooling for kids. Can't wait tell next year. See what needs to be done and of course possible we probably have all this covic-19 under control. Meal planning I have failed but I'm going to try as I fit it in with trying to take a beak and then thinking about what I should do. Most likely did I entertain the kids enough? Are they on there tablets to long? Ahhhh, school is going to start soon. Have to switch to teacher mode.
Cleaning is like "When should I do this?" With all the family things I need to do, I am doing it alone without there father's help. I love my parents for helping where they can.
Overall a glass of wine is needed once in a while. Just going to the grocery store seems to get old now.
As people try to look for love and act like they need to go out. They need to find love. They just need something. Remember we all lose some and gain some.
I have gain Truth. What was blinded before me, I have gain truth.
I lost love. It's on hold because my life changed. I decided to take care of my family. Cancer is here and kids I don't want to get sick. So you can figure out what is going on.
What have you gain with all this going on around the world? What have you lose?
Just another momma's struggle
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