Motherhood

  I wrote down a couple things yesterday but right now at this moment I will not be using them because I'm just lazy to get it out my car.
  Plus I'm about to take a bath.
 Here is a few words

 I Woke up to only have baby ready to get up and I knew I wasn't going back to sleep.
 I made some coffee that got me up a little.
Had to think of something to do for the sabbath( I figure that out) to where I started to think about a whole bunch of shit.

  Do I have time with my kids? My oldest want to do something on Sundats..has I work every fucking Sunday. Do I get a new job...looked trying to figure out what works and who will be more flexible.
  Do they pay enough...benefits..all times of questions started to go through my head that I started to get angry.
  So I try to focus on the importance of today which is Yah. It's his day and I need to be in his word.
  I have to remind myself my goals..my passion and what if at times.
  I'm not going to lie I want to give up. Throw in the towel and say F it.

  But you see I can't do that. I'm not a quitter and it's not in my blood. If you have kids deal with it. Meaning do what you can and try not to bring yourself down.
  Yes it sucks some days but at least you have a reason to live. It's easy to leave and fail but it's harder to stay and be responsible for anything.
  So people have dogs to start off with but I realize they will never leave the house only if I take them.
  Cats..well they seem o simple that I wobt mind having one.
  Kids well I have no choice there..THEY ARE HERE.

  LOL sorry that was funny to me
 But real talk try not to listen to society and what they expect of you. All that matters is what Yah feels.
  There will come a time in are life where we have to stand accountable for every single action and all I can say is darn I hope my sins are forgiven.

  Okay maybe I went of the wall but back to focusing.


  Yes you might not have shot but keep going anyways.